Friday, July 30, 2010

In Limbo

Not really sure how to title this post. Bare with me..........

I am in a bit of a quandary right now. My daughter is heading to kindergarten and I have planned to go back to work when that happened. Truly I didn't plan to be off work as long as I have. We adopted my precious M, she came to us only two days old. She was precious, pure, sweet and simply perfect. I thought I would take off a year and head back to work. One year turned in to two and three and so on. I couldn't bare not to be there with her every single day. I dreamed of becoming a mother for years and she finally came to me. Things change. Plans change. I have adored being a stay at home mom and would not trade one single day of being home, monotonous days, cleaning, playing peek-a-boo, crafting, play dates, baking together, kissing boo boos, building blocks, watching Noggin, wiping tears, and loving this little one beyond compare. I've never felt anything like it.

She goes to kindergarten in two weeks and, as she'll be gone for six hours a day, I feel it's time to find "me" again. My previous career was in wireless phones. A thankless, challenging, long hours, stressful world. I could probably go back with little problem, but I have bigger dreams. My dream has been to open my own business. I had a dream of a business, an idea! A great idea. Most of you already know, I live in a small town. Recently I found that my great idea wasn't mine alone and I came across this business that was my "idea". It's a great little business and idea. I truly feel I could have executed it better. I am tormented with the thought that I stood by and let me dream, my idea, be realized by someone else sooner. In my small town there would not be room for two of us. Now what to do? Would I have ever really acted and opened my own business is the question. I am bummed and heart broken that I didn't act. I am bummed that I didn't have the courage to act before.

As the day draws nearer for my little girl to head off to start finding herself I am just starting to find myself. I want my own business. I believe I am creative enough, have style enough, have the background to pull it off and know that I would love having my own business. Can I do it. Yes!!! Will I do it? Well, that is to be determined. I hope to. I want to. I DREAM to.

Thanks for listening to my thought process as I decide what I am going to do in this next phase. I hope I come through the way I want to. I hope I can put my fear and hesitation aside.



  1. Leslie, not sure what business you are talking about but, you CAN and will do it better. There's always enough room for two great businesses you just have to find USP (unique selling point) I am like you and dream of one day having my own business. I am also to scared to RISK... However, this statement is frequently in my head and consumes me most of the time...

    Imagine the thought that you would never fail, think of all the accomplishments that could be achieved!

    Do it!!!!!!!

  2. Such a beautiful post, Leslie! But I agree with Litsa. Even the smallest towns have room for more than one of the same type of business. It can actually be a good thing to have someone who challenges you to do better, and it's nice for clients to feel they have a choice.

    You've already said you'd do things a little differently, so there's many ways to keep your idea your own.

    Bottom line: don't let anything keep you from following your dreams.

  3. Thanks Litsa and see pea for such encouraging comments. Great advice!


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